My Journal

So these last few weeks have been a little tougher.  I realise talking to friends and fellow artists that I’m not alone in feeling this.  The initial novelty factor to staying home, if there was one, has well and truly worn off.   Our daily habits and routines have become ‘flexible’ at best and at worst, gone out the window.  
 
This seemed like a great freedom at first but like it or loathe it, these daily habits and routines keep us grounded.   Without them, it's easy to feel rudderless.  These last few weeks have been scary too which hasn’t helped.  The true nature of our societies is laid bare every day on our News feeds.  Opinions have never been more polarised.  Advice often contradictory and confusing. 
 
At first I found the freedom to be left alone to make new paintings and be creative exhilarating and exciting, I still do.  But it wasn’t long before I discovered the dreaded rabbit holes!  With so much fantastic information on line; podcasts, free workshops, virtual gallery visits, lectures and so on … and on.  Before long you realise each one is a potential rabbit hole.  If you go down, you might never come up again or if you do, it's likely you'll have forgotten what you went in for in the first place.
 
When I was about 8, my mother sent me to our local shop to buy fresh-baked bread rolls for lunch and a wedge of cheese cut from a huge block that was kept behind the counter at McIntyre’s grocery.  I took a basket and put the money in my pocket.  To get to the shop I had to pass the library.  There was a clown outside, juggling and and doing magic tricks.  I stood there in the small crowd mesmerised; I have no idea for how long.   When he stopped to tell us about his circus that was coming to town the following week, I was so excited, I ran home to tell my mother.  She wasn’t excited at all by my news.  She just looked at me and said:  ‘So, where’s lunch?  That's my first memory of going down a rabbit hole and there were consequences.  After all, a tin of Campbell’s soup was no substitute for one of Mrs. McIntyre's chewy white rolls filled with a thick slice of rich red Leicester cheese!  I can still taste it now.

So, like it or not, it's time for a reality check.  Too much freedom is not good for me!  It's not about timetables and doing the same thing at the same time every day but it is about being consistent, making commitments to oneself and others and sticking to them.  For me, working is not the problem.  I consider I have a good daily work practice, in other words I turn up in my studio every day and stay there for at least 7 hours.  But being creative is not like a tap you turn on and off and as with every way of life, there is housekeeping.  In fact it’s often while doing mundane tasks like tidying the studio, washing brushes or prepping canvases and panels that the best ideas come.
 
The problem for me is staying focused on one track, and holding on to those ideas.  As a mother you learn to multitask, a great skill to have when there’s a lot to be done but a bad one when your trying to avoid distractions and focus on one project. 
 
So what have I learnt over this last month that can help me going forward?
 
1. It helps to know yourself, like at what time of the day do you work best.  For example, I like to paint in the morning and afternoon but I find it easier to write    emails and do accounts at night.
2. KISS:  Keep It Stupidly Simple!  Make lists.  Drown out the noise.  Turn off the phone with its constant buzz from Social media, text feeds and emails.  Ignore the lure of that new 'how to paint without light' video on You Tube. 
3. Learn to identify your personal tools:

• Be kind to yourself.  If you don’t manage to get it right this week, there’s always next week.  Be kind to others.  They might not be coping as well as you think.
•  Be less critical of yourself and others.  We all have our own coping mechanisms.   A little less judgement and a little more tolerance all round will go a long way to getting us all through this.
•  Be resilient.  It’s ok to feel down or hopeless sometimes.  Our world is changing and that can be scary.  Do something that makes you happy:  watch a nice movie, go for a walk, listen to music, talk to someone who makes you laugh.

So I didn’t manage to finish 12 paintings last month, but I did finish 3.  They started with a little study of the sea by moonlight, Then I did a bigger one and then, an even bigger one.  Take a look here.
 
In short if you want to get things done in lock-down, remember to KISS, take small steady steps, and above all watch out for rabbit holes!
 
Thanks for reading and please feel free to leave a comment.